Friday, August 17, 2007

Hannah's Happy Tears


Wednesday night my 9 year old daughter Hannah was having some bleeding from her ear and nose. We had it looked at yesterday and they said the eardrum was perforated (ack!) She currently has tubes in her ears and some occasional ear aches can be normal. Buuuut I was pret-ty much feelin like quite the queen shmuck of a mother. Today we went to the Ear/Nose/Throat specialist and he said it is not perforated. The tube looked like a perforation to the dr. yesterday. It looks like she just had some irritation to the surrounding blood vessels, and a possible swimmers ear infection but will be fine and dandy. Gramma, Aunties....you can all breath a sigh of relief. Thank you Lord! (Here she is holding Juliet and excited to be able to swim again!)
See if there's anything to just break your heart into a million pieces, it's the thought of this kid going through pain. In fact I have to keep a close eye on her because she's so unlikely to complain about anything in general, that piranhas could be eating her leg half gone and she'd be like "Um...Mom? (sweet/patient face)...Escuse me...Mom? Sorry to intuwupt you but Piranhas are devouring my leg. Would it be okay if I may I pwlease shake them off?"

Hannah Rose has the gift of faith. Sometimes I wonder if it's due to the way her life began? (She had severe unexplained Respiratory distress and spent many weeks in the NICU and on respirator) Then through toddlerhood she struggled with hearing loss on and off, with a dunce of a mother who didn't pick up on it real quick and oftentimes assumed she was disobeying when she was actually not hearing. As a toddler she would sometimes get confused, and panicky and I've wondered if her early awareness of her need paved the way for her early belief? Who knows. But Hannah just believes. She believes with every ounce of her that God is completely in control, and completely good. She is this teeny thing...flitting around like a butterfly, but she carries herself with such grace and strength! As much as I would like to take the credit...it is so abundantly clear that it is a work of the Holy Spirit.

Yesterday after struggling with her ear ache all day, finally hearing that it had ruptured, and not being all that sure what it meant, she came out of the restroom with glistening eyes and said:
"Mom, I cried happy tears in the bathroom."
"What Hannah? (with aching heart) Are you sure they were happy tears?"
"Yes. I'm positive. I was just so thankful that it's only this and that it's not worser, because there are just sooo many kids who rilly are sick and in a lot of pain...so I'm just thankful. Because God just teaches me mowa and mowa and mowa about his pwlan thwough stuff like this."

I kid you not people. And there is not an ounce of insincerity in her. All these two days she was pointing out the blessings of it and talking like a mini Elisabeth Elliot with a lisp. I'm serious! Those that know Hannah know that I am not blowing smoke. Sitting in traffic was never quite so edifying as today. My little Hannah has learned the "secret to contentment" that Paul the apostle speaks of in Phillipians:


...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ~Phil. 4:11-13


I have been completely blessed these two days of getting to really tune in and just listen to her little comments: "Mom, sometimes I just looove to people watch. I love to watch them and think 'what are they thinking?' ...and to wonder if they know God. And then I just pwray that they do...or that they will...someday. And sometimes I see someone that looks rilly wierd or stwrange and I have to think to myself to look past their outside...into their spiwrit. And then I just wonder who they rilly are and I think God is just amazing to make them like that...with a different spirit than their bodies..."

(sigh)...."I just love Gemma. She is just such a wonderful big sister. The stuff she thinks of to teach us when we play school.....I would never think of! She is just so creative and good to me. I am so blessed to have sisters and bwruthers. That's the thing about creativeness...like these people I am watching....I just never could've created everyone so different and....all the stuff....nature....and (she's looking all around now) ...the twrees, the buuwds...Starbucks...God even made Starbucks and fwappuccinos cuz he made the coffee beans and the people to think of it!... God is just so good. That's another reason why I believe. I SEE that He is wreal."

Sheesh. Needless to say I loaded the kid up on a Stawbucks Fwappuccino with enough whip cream to choke a goat and we took full advantage of our special time. In our travels we had the opportunity to swing by the construction site where my Dad is foreman. He lives out of town and this was a perfect little opportunity to stop and give him coffee and a hug. As we left for home, Hannah's ear was bleeding and aching again so she laid her head down to rest. True to her nature she said "That was so wundaful to see Papa Wheelur...wouldn't that be nice if that was the whooole reason God gave me this ear ache? Just to give us special time with Papa!"

Then tonight Hannah and I babysat for some dear friends of ours (the McPherson munchkins) so the Momma & Daddy could get out for a much needed date night. While Hannah was doing the dishes she did that happy sigh and said "Mom? I am just so happy to help Mrs. McPherson. She has always blessed us so much. And I feel blessed that I get to be here to do this with you."

And dangit all if I aint crying some happy tears myself......

3 comments:

Jenni said...

What a sweet little treasure you have! Actually all your children are just beautiful, I so appreciate your heart for your family and I'm sooo glad you are going to our church now, I always look forward to talking to you!

Jeffry & Amy said...

Ohhhhh my gosh! What a touching story! Keep em coming! I am just amazed how this blog thing is working out so well for you! Love, amy

Rene' McPherson said...

Momma Kirkman and Hannah,
Many many many thankful tears from momma McPherson! What a blessing this blog has been and will be to many. What a beautiful legacy God is building with your family! Thank you for Blessing us yet again! Much love and hugs Rene'