But I will never forget the day I realized how greatly I had underestimated the plans of my Lord. It was a very low day, I was quite pregnant, exhausted, nauseous we hadn't cracked a single book, I confess there were some pretty crusty noses, possibly more than a few children in jammies and there I was curled up in a heap in my overstuffed chair, leafing through the pages of my Bible looking for all those verses that had led me to believe all this would work out in the first place. Like, the "be fruitful and multiply", "God will supply all my needs", "Quiverfull" stuff?!?!
I looked out the window just in time to see the confident yellow school bus dropping off all the non-crusty nosed neighbor kids to their energetic looking, freshly made up mothers who had (I was guessing) probably accomplished all kinds of stuff in their homes while their kids were at school learning all the stuff I was failing to teach mine. Well, that did it. Bad day became panic attack day and the fear and doubts engulfed me.
My then 6 year old daughter Gemma arrived on the scene just in time to see her pathetic, blubbering mother and said "Mom! What's the matter?"
I replied that I was "just having a hard day."
"What you need is a cup of my yummy tea!" and proceeded to make me a most comforting cup of her very yummy tea. (She's learned this from me...who learned it from my dear mom.)
Ten minutes or so later, she returned followed by the most adorable little rag tag band of munchkins you ever did see! There was my 4 yr. old cute little pixie doll(Hannah), the chubby blonde haired 2 year old rescue hero (Bub)with his underwear on top of his spiderman suit, aaaaaand bringing up the rear... the teethiest most smiliest baby Silas you ever did see. At this point, who could stay sad? Gemma said they had all just prayed for me, and that they were now putting on a parade to cheer me up.
It hit me then, while drinking my tea and watching my own parade, that my little children...my babies, were ministering to me! It was the most humbling, beautiful thing to realize that while they indeed are my sons and daughters, they are also a part of the larger body of Christ. My very brothers and sisters in the Lord! The obvious is that I will minister very much to them. The less obvious is that they have been sent here to do the same to me. We mothers strive to give our kids everything in the world and so much hate the thought of them going without so we strive, strive, strive to juggle the load, not deprive anyone, and when we need to lean on the older children for a time, the enemy zings us with the fear that scripture warned us not to give way to. We forget that our children are part of Christ's body. The one who gave up His life so others might live. Wouldn't it then be Christlikeness 101 to be caring for their Momma while a life grows in her?
And the eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you";
or again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you."
On the contrary, to a much greater degree the members of the body which seem to be the weaker, are necessary; 1 Cor. 12:21
And in fact, on this day, the very cutest of the Saints of God had taken it upon themselves to pray together for me, and band together to serve and cheer me! They laid chubby little hands on my tummy as they sang for their unborn baby sister.
(As a sidenote I feel it important to note that we hold up a very, very high standard for education in our home, and as christians we should.) This particular day though, God showed me that He was doing much greater things within the walls of our home, than the phonics and addition in my "lesson plan". He was showing me that He was still making good on His promises to provide...but just maybe not exactly how I had imagined. That Lord willing, as this family grows...am I going to trust Him with His plan and what He wants it to look like? Even if it looks very, very different?
God has a unique purpose for each of our families that He wants to bring to fruition. As a starting point, He simply desires for us to trust Him as the Creator of each little life in the first place. Mothers, do you believe that He opens and closes the womb? Do you trust that He is "working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose?"
God will build His people and will get His glory regardless of if He chooses to use our wombs and homes to accomplish it in. I don't know about you, but I want to be one He uses.